megaman2:

megaman2:

“mickey mouse it says you want to divorce minnie because she was…… extremely silly?”

“no, i said she was fucking goofy”

please stop reblogging this i stole this joke from my brother

(via myworsthabitis)

emilioestevez:

story time

so about 7 months ago, my girlfriend at the time asked me to move in. so i did and we lived together for roughly 6 weeks. she asked me to move out until i was mature enough to live with a girl because in those 6 weeks i drew a dick on her face while she was sleeping 11 times.

(via myworsthabitis)

theyellowbrickroad:

so i was wearing this shirt with these super comfortable jeans all day but something felt weird about them so when i got home i took them off and changed into pajamas and i was looking at the back of them and

(via myworsthabitis)

ghost-anus:

yourswiftles:

so I am looking through my photo booth pictures on my laptop bc I have no life

and I find these

i doNT UNDERSTAND

I AM A WHITE 15 YEAR OLD GIRL

I HAVE NEVER SEEN THESE PEOPLE BEFORE

HELP ME

paranormal blacktivity

(via myworsthabitis)

iwillmindfuckyou:

lunaticphan:

So my driving instructor texted me, and I was walking so I just typed ‘Ok’ and hit send and then I looked at it and was like WHAT

But as it turns out, my friends are entirely responsible for turning ‘Ok’ into a shortcut. 

Cry

your friends are keepers

(via cherub-inwonderland)

hamfarto:

hamfarto:

im having one of those unattractive days

i mean years

(via myworsthabitis)

klausenjoysthehunt:

To people who followed me for one specific fandom, I am so so sorry

(Source: oneoftheherondales, via myworsthabitis)